Sing for the Day, Sing for the Moment...

I really need to film and upload a video! So, it has been two months since I last wrote a blog. I apologize. I have been in turmoil in regards to my career. So, this entry will be an honest one, not making light of anything, or trying to make everything sound as cheery as I would like it to be.

When I first came out to LA, ten months ago, I "wanted" to be a publicist. In reality, I thought it was something I would be good at where I could just bury myself in work, feel safe, and be a help to someone. Not good enough reasons. Then, I thought I'd go back to acting, but in all honesty, I hate it. I hate memorizing lines. The sight of a monologue makes me want to vomit. As much as I like analyzing people and seeing what makes them tick, I hate the idea of acting as a full time profession. I remember a time when I absolutely loved it and how much it helped me to release my stress onstage. That was a time in my life that I was afraid to figure myself out, and in being other people for a time, I didn't have to. Since then, I've gotten to know myself a little better, and I don't want to leave her, even for a second. That time when I wanted to act has passed, and I just have to accept it, and not try to force it on myself...at least until I genuinely feel that love, again, if I ever do.

I want to be a singer. Yes. There, I said it. *cringe* It is so hard for me to say that aloud. I usually blush, or follow it with something like, "If God wills it..." or "Haha, we'll see how that goes" *joke hands* But, I really do. If I could do anything for the rest of my life, it would be to sing. It's the one thing that I habitually do that makes me feel alive. I feel like I'm flying and free, which if you know me, are two states of being I adore. I cannot truly and justly describe how much I love to sing. I will be starting singing lessons in the new year to learn more about my voice and how to control it. I hope that will go well, and the next step will become visible to me. Until then, I sing in place. :)

Anyway, I hope family and friends, that you had a wonderful Christmas and the new year brings you all sorts of happiness!

P.S. The picture is from Madame Tussauds in Hollywood. Just dancing with MJ. ;)

End of October Update!

My Grandpa kindly reminded me that I hadn't updated this in a while last week, so here we go! Haha!

Not too much has changed. I'm still working two jobs. I got promoted to server at the restaurant job, so I'm joining the ranks of thousands of entertainers that serve for a living while they work and wait for their big break. I've been working on my singing a lot. I just started "singing lessons" using Brett Manning's Singing Success program. It's going well so far. The warm-ups, even though they seems silly, have really relaxed my face and voice so I can reach higher notes easier. I'm hoping to start acting classes in the new year when I've saved up enough money, and I've made sure I have enough for taxes. I'm still on track for my plan of being ready for pilot season 2013! I'm hoping acting classes will go well, and I'll find a commercial agent first, then a theatrical agent by December 2013, so in January I can hit the pavement.

Some personal notes---My friend, Kara, is moving in with Jodi and me by November 1. We're excited to be roomies, again! In addition to having my best girl friends all living under the same roof, our rent is going to be cheaper split between us. It's a win-win!

Last night, I went out with my friends, Justin and Evian, to West Hollywood. It was so fun! I hadn't been dancing out here before, but I loved it so much. On Halloween, a bunch of us are going to the big West Hollywood Halloween party to mingle with what I'm told will be thousands of people all dressed up for the occasion. I'm also told there will be a popular band there, but no one knows who it is until they get there. In any case, as long as Paramore isn't really there, if you see Hayley Williams walking around, that would be me!

Well, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for reading! <3

(By the way, the picture at the top is from when I dressed up for the latest (and last) Harry Potter midnight showing. I know I talked about that in a previous post. It was so good. I'm so sad the series is officially over!)

Excerpt of "It Ain't That Easy"

A bit of a song I wrote a while ago. I recorded this back in Texas on my Mac. I have the rest written as well, but the video cut off for some reason. This is the first song I've ever posted online, so please be kind. Thank you!

Waiting For My Welcome Letter

Can I just say how addicting this song is? I'm currently waiting for my Welcome Letter to enter Pottermore. I got the email that said I'd been approved for early entry, but haven't gotten the official go ahead, yet. Anyway, if you're into fan videos/catchy songs/corny songs/love songs, you'll like this video. Enjoy!

Update ~ August 1, 2011

July Update!

The video above is from tonight. My roommate, Jodi, and I were doing karaoke, but this time it went awry. Decided it would be fun to post. :)

Just wanted to update a little bit. I know it's been a long time. I apologize. I've been really busy working and playing! I work two jobs. I'm a hostess at a restaurant, and I'm a nanny for an adorable 9-month-old. Both are very fulfilling in terms of helping people.

On my birthday, I made my first trip to Disneyland, thanks to my friends, Nathan and Jodi. It was so much fun---I wish I could live there! This month, the end of a magical era comes---The final installment of the Harry Potter films. I am so excited, nervous, sad, and cautious with this coming. I am going to miss that world so much. I'm going to miss looking forward to a new book or movie.

My spiritual journey has been rocky this month, I will admit. It is remarkable how we has humans gauge our relationship with God by how we're doing in life. Honestly, it makes sense to do that, but it's not right. God places challenges in our life so that we can overcome them, and be stronger to take on the rest of His will for our lives. Also, not to mention, take on the ultimate battle against evil. The stronger we get in faith, the more attacked we are going to be. It is imperative that we keep reminding ourselves that WE ARE LOVED BY HIM, and that WE ARE SPECIAL TO HIM. In Him we find our strength. So, that's what I'm focusing on right now. Letting Him be the strength and not trying to take on the world by myself. There's no need for it.

Well, it seems that is all I can think of for now. Family, friends, I hope you all are well!

Beginning of June Update!

Just a few updates---I have officially moved into my apartment with my roommate, Jodi. There are boxes everywhere, still, but everything is here. We've signed the lease, and it is ours! I feel so incredibly blessed. I live in a great location for opportunities in the entertainment business and to join community based events. I get to drive by some of the studios every day, and that keeps the dream alive!

I've also been writing more songs lately. Unfortunately, they all deal with the same person and situation, and though I love the songs I've written about that, I think it's time to put that subject matter to rest for a while. I have two more song ideas in my head for that, and a few more written down. Once I write those, I'm going to be finished with it. I believe that will put my total songs about that personal matter to 15. That's the length of a decent album. Haha!

On the job front, it's an uphill battle, my friends. I'm still hosting at a restaurant, but moving as put me quite far away from it, so I'm hoping that I can find something closer. Gas is not cheap, (Though, I found myself rejoicing when I saw it was $4.03 the other day.) and traffic is so unpredictable. I'm hoping to get a graveyard shift at a hospital or even work on a studio lot. We'll see what happens!

I feel so happy to be out here. For the first time in my life, I'm not always wishing to "get out" or just to be somewhere else. I'm where I've always dreamed of being. Such a nice feeling. I do still miss home, sometimes. I've found my southern accent coming out more and more here lately. Haha. Luckily, there are a lot of Texans here. :) I just feel so lucky that I get to wake up in sunny Los Angeles, knowing a live close to where the magic happens both in music and film. I get to see mountains every day. I marvel that palm trees grow right next to trees I'd only ever seen in Colorado. I sit in wonder at this beautiful place God has created. Thank you, my Adonai. :)

(Note: The picture above is of one of the balconies at the El Capitan. I went to see the new Pirates movie there, and met Jerry Bruckheimer. It was amazingly surreal. I was walking toward the ladies room, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone was looking at me, so I turned and said, "Hello, how are you?" [I remember thinking he looked familiar, but I thought he was someone I'd met that I'd just forgotten his name.] He replied he was fine, and I said, "I'm glad," and walked off. As I was going down the stairs, I said to Jodi, "I think I just met Jerry Bruckheimer." I resolved that if he was in the same place when we went back up, I'd introduce myself. He was, and I did. He was very nice, and just a little reserved. You just never know who you're going to run into.)

Kara And I Being Silly! Whimsidork!

It Can Happen To YOU!!!

It hurts how stupid I can be, sometimes. There are some situations in life you hear about, but you never think they will actually happen to you. Here is an example of one of those situations that happened to me.

I got home tonight a little before midnight from work, tired and ready to be relaxing. I had to park a few blocks from the apartment because there was no parking nearby. As I was walking, I situated my car key between my right index finger and my middle finger, so that if an attacker came along, I'd be able to swing my arm and hopefully injure whatever body part the key found. As I crossed my street onto the opposite sidewalk, I heard someone say, "Hey." I turned around, and there in a newer-model Volkswagen Jetta, was an Indian man in his mid-to-late 40s. Thinking he may need directions, I replied, "Yes?" and stepped just a few feet from the car. "Do you live around here?" he asked. I told him I lived a ways down the street. He said he was looking for an apartment, and I asked what address. He didn't have an address that he was looking for. Then, he said he was looking for a rental. At this, I thought, "Aren't all apartments rentals?" That should have been a red flag. I also noticed, there seemed to be no luggage or boxes in the back of his car. Another red flag. I then proceeded to tell him about Westside Rentals and how you register and look for apartments on a website. Then, he said, as he was in the middle of the road in his car, that he'd better pull over so he didn't get a ticket. I told him he wasn't going to get a ticket, but he pulled over anyway. Then he changed subjects, "How old are you?" "In my 20s," I replied. He introduced himself as Chris, and we shook hands. "Are you single?" That question, though, I replied, "Yes, I am," was finally the one that made me realize that this was not a good situation. He asked if we could talk for five minutes, to which I said we could not because I had a friend waiting for me that was ready to go. He pleaded with me, but I was firm that I had to go, and walked away. I heard him speed his car the opposite way, and then I ran home.

So many mistakes made.

1) It's almost midnight. Why the freak did I even stop to talk to this creep? I should have just said I was in a hurry, kept walking, and kept an eye out for his return.

2) Why did I even tell him I lived down the street? I mean, some would support this because it means that someone might be expecting you, which would ward off an attacker because he would want to have as much time possible between taking his victim and someone finding out. However, I just opened up a new can of worms by telling him this because, now he knows a young girl lives on this street. You can bet I'll be watching my back oh, so carefully.

3) He's looking for a rental...All apartments are rentals...Unless he's looking for a condo. This man isn't sure what he's talking about. No luggage or boxes, looking for an apartment to "rent" at NIGHT. Should have been a HUGE red flag.

4) Changing the subject from "apartment hunting" to "let's get to know each other." "Can we talk for 5 minutes?" Inevitably, if I'd said yes, he would have gotten out of the car to "talk" which probably would have lead to kidnapping, rape, or even sex-trafficking. Thank goodness I AT LEAST knew not to let him get out of the car around me.

5) We shook hands. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I DID THAT! Even as I did it, I knew I shouldn't have. Ladies, WE NEED NOT BE SO FRIENDLY! He could have taken hold and pulled me into his vehicle, and I'd never be heard from, again. DO NOT TOUCH STRANGERS!!!

I think a lot of us girls think when an attacker comes, it'll be all showy like the movies. There will be a surprise attack, some physical altercation where we can use our martial arts skills that we think we know, hit him a few times with our purses, and get away. However, I'm discovering more often than not situations that lead to kidnapping or worse often start a little more "innocent." For example, remember when we were little and we were taught not to go with strangers offering free candy in their vans because they would kidnap us? Now, these low-lifes use that same kind of tactic to prey on women through their words and malicious smiles bathed in a fake syrup of sincerity, "You're so beautiful. I find you intriguing interesting, and I possibly might love you and marry you one day. Let's talk for a little while. Will you go out with me?" I have had TWO men drive up next to me now, and show "interest." The first was in broad daylight on a busy road last week, and second was the one I just told you about.

Now, family who reads this, know that I AM OKAY, and I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN.

You can bet I debated on posting this story. I hate admitting when I've messed up, but I'm hoping by reading this someone will be better off for it. The Lord would not let me sleep in my bed tonight until I wrote this and posted it. PLEASE, SHARE WITH EVERY LADY YOU KNOW.

"Just Gotta Have Faith"

Hello! It's a beautiful sunny day here in LA. I just got home from my internship a little bit ago. I've been interning with an agency for two months, now, but I had to put in my two-weeks notice today. The jobs that I'm pursuing want more availability, and I have to focus on making ends meet more than doing what I actually want for a while. I have truly loved getting to know the agents I work with, and the business from their point of view. I'll miss going there every Monday and Wednesday.

On the job front, I start training to be a hostess tomorrow at a restaurant. I'm hoping to eventually become a waitress there. Also, I met with a nannying agency last week, so I'm hoping I'll get sent out for interviews soon, and if that picks up, I'll make it my full-time position instead of waitressing.

I've been feeling quite down on myself lately for not having a good job. I'm down to the wire on money, and I've been worried sick over it. I've only been out here two months, and I really don't want to send myself home. I believe God has control over everything, though, so I'm hoping He's just trying to teach me to have more faith and patience. Haha!

So, in conclusion, things are moving, slowly but surely. "Just gotta have faith"---Thanks Violet. ;)

Blessings,

Lindsay

Music Video for Moby's "After" Edited By BK Garceau

Hey, y'all!

Here is a music video that I had the pleasure of being a part of! It's a new Moby song called, "After." My wonderful friend, BK Garceau III edited it beautifully, so check out his other videos, too! If you have a Vimeo account, please comment on the video, too, because BK would enjoy some feedback. Thanks!

http://vimeo.com/23476133

MOBY - "AFTER" (Hello, Future) from BK Garceau, III on Vimeo.

God Bless America

Tonight, the world received the news that the United States killed Osama Bin Laden. What news! My first reaction was disbelief. It has been ten years since the brutal attack on our country, and I had lost hope that we would ever find him. My second reaction when I realized it was true was sadness. I found myself feeling sorry for him. Yes, he did terrible things and he deserved to be brought to justice, but I really wanted to hug him. I am one of those people that always believes in the good in people. I figure, if we show them enough love, they'll turn from wanting to hurt others. I know this may not always be true, but I'm sure it could help someone. My third reaction was a mixture of relief and wanting to celebrate. He is gone, and we'll not worry about him, again.

I do fear retaliation. I am not sure what that future will hold, but I know we'll meet it well. People may say that fairytales are not real and that they set us up for a fall. However, there is one concept that is always right and true. That good will prevail. He is good and He will prevail.

I love the United States and what we stand for, and I am glad good people are willing to fight to keep us safe. I am glad we are a country founded under God.

God Bless America.

Bishop of London's Sermon

The Bishop of London wrote a really powerful speech for the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, and I wanted to share.

Written transcript of the Bishop of London's speech:

http://www.officialroyalwedding2011.org/blog/2011/April/29/The-Bishop-of-London-s-Sermon

Video of the Bishop of London's sermon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1vh-zWt9h8

End of April Update

Hello! I know it's been FOREVER since I've written. My grandpa gently reminded me of that today. :) I know it's because I've nothing really new to report in regards to career or jobs. I might have a waitressing job. I'm told the hiring manager really liked me, but things are for some reason being held up on the corporate side. I'm working on giving out fliers to start giving clarinet lessons. I know I'll love that. I have missed playing so much. Also, I am planning on registering with a nannying agency. You may be wondering, "Why all of these jobs? Why not a normal one?" Well, believe me, the practical side of me is screaming at the prospect of these types of jobs because they're not stable. However, the heart of me knows these jobs are what I need because they're flexible enough to work with auditions and other entertainment industry appointments.

As far as stepping stones to my career...

I am trying to organize when to get my headshots done. My hair is not the length, style, and possibly color that I want right now...And to spend good money on headshots requires that I at least have the style and color right. Currently, I am working on that decision. Also, another investment I am making is singing lessons. I LOVE to sing. So much. I love it more than any activity in this world. I so look forward to going to heaven and sing in God's choir. Meanwhile, here on earth, I want to hone and use the talent He's given me to make people smile.

On the emotional front...

Not having a stable job is hard. I work demos every once in a while at grocery stores, but it's quite sporadic. I do get down sometimes because I don't have a set income or schedule, but I'm learning to accept this is where God needs me right now, and I just have to keep trying. He will provide. I did defer two of my school loan payments for six months, so that's helped me feel a little more at ease.

What's fun?

Last week, I went to Malibu for an hour. It was gorgeous to watch the sun go down, but I went when it was a wee bit nippy out, so that was an experience. On the drive home at night on the PCH, I could see Santa Monica Pier all lit up. It looked so beautiful. It's just those little things that make me smile. Yesterday morning, my friend, N, and I hosted a very cheery party for the Royal Wedding. We even dressed for the occasion, him in a suit with some snazzy shoes, and me in a dress with matching high heels. Five hours of broadcasting, a wedding, British accents (Yes, us too!), British cookies, a spot of tea, a brilliant sermon, Kate's marvelous dress, William and Harry nervous before the ceremony, and two balcony kisses--All add up to a perfect evening--er, morning, I mean. :) In honor of watching such a joyous occasion, history in the making, I've included a picture of the happy couple.

All in all, I am extremely happy to be out here, though I do get homesick at moments. I do miss the smell of Texas and my family, but God is adamant--This is my home, now, and I am happy to serve Him.

Stay Strong

Hello! I know I'm always writing late at night, but that's when I feel the most open and inspired. :)

Anyone who knows me knows I'm OBSESSED with the Disney Channel. I think it's because of all of the positive messages that they promote in their shows and music. "Believe in yourself." "Never lose hope." "Chase your dreams." Right now, the big one is "Stay Strong," popularized by Demi Lovato. So simple, you've heard it before, but I love it. Two words that are so simple yet mean so much. They encompass all that the Disney Channel stands for with the previous messages above. In LA, it is difficult to keep "sane," for lack of a better word. There are all of these people who are telling you who to be and what to do, money seems to take the cake more than art, and people are literally selling their souls for little tidbits of "success." It is important to remember to "Stay Strong" in the face of these things. It is important to remember what's more important than "success" as defined by Hollywood, and who we're living for: HIM. He will keep us sane. He will fight our battles. He will give us strength to do what He needs us to do for His glory.

I felt the need to say all of that to remind myself and others what we're here for. :)

All Is Well

Good morning! I feel at peace right now. I've been in a funk lately about finding a job and where I'm going in life---Something a lot of people, especially those my age, can relate to right now I'm sure. Things have been going well at my internship. I learn new things every day about how the process of casting works and what agents are looking for in actors (though that last one is still a little gray area to me).

I've been looking for paying jobs to supplement my living here. First, a few weeks ago I applied to five different Starbucks, but none were initially hiring. Second, I looked in retail, and it is a tough market, guys. I happened to walk into a store that was having open interviews, and there were at least fifteen of us there for the same position. We waited for an hour (Some people waited longer.), and on top of that, they had group interviews which I'd never experienced before. My next venture is going to be food service. I plan to walk into a lot of establishments and see if they're hiring night waitresses. I figure I need to work at night so I can have my days free to go to auditions, and I'll sleep somewhere in there. Haha. Also, as an added money-maker, I'm going to hopefully be able to give clarinet lessons to beginners in the area, and maybe do some nannying. We'll see!

As far as acting career stuff goes, I'm still reading my book that I mentioned in my last post, trying to extract every bit of useful information so I can plan my career as much as possible---Or as much as an actor really can. I've signed on with www.actorsaccess.com, and plan to pay the yearly fee where I can submit myself for auditions that come up. And, as always, I continue to watch actor interview videos to gain as many perspectives on the craft as possible.

I mentioned I am feeling at peace at the beginning of this, so I want to get back to that. Every time I get in a rut about things and think I cannot figure things out, I have to remember something. Maybe it's useful for other people, too, but when I get in that frustrated state I just have to remember one simple concept: God is in control. He is in control and no one else. As long as I am going down the right path, living my life according to His will, and feeding my soul with His voice, I am well. I have a lot of college debt, and rent is expensive, but He will provide. He loves us more than any of His creations---We are His masterpiece, and He will take care of us. We are well.

Blessings!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Here's a new update! Sorry it's been so long! Enjoy!

No, I'm Not Lucky. I'm Blessed. Yes.

It's incredibly early in the morning, I know, but I feel the need to write.

My internship at the agency is going really well. I like the work, and I'm learning a lot about the business. I got to read a script today that was written by one of my professors at school. It is so nice to get little reminders that a career in this business is attainable. I think we get a little either over-eager so we get disappointed when things are not as we pictured them to be, or we get down-right downcast because things are not moving as fast as we would like them to. I am guilty of both. However, I am still optimistic and confident that this industry holds the job I am meant to do. I just have to bump into it. I sometimes get discouraged because I don't feel "called" to anything, yet. I feel called to be in LA. Check. That's done. I still have no idea what I'm really supposed to be doing here. I pray about it, and I search for it. I think God is hiding it from me for now so I can learn something that will be useful to Him, and that is good ultimately because He knows what is best for His glory and what part I play in it. Still, I'm human and definitely impatient a lot of the time. I am blessed that He is so patient and forgiving. To paraphrase what Rachel McAdams said in a Vogue interview, "Sometimes it's better to not know what you're doing." Maybe it leads to better results because you're not married to a single idea or formula. I sincerely hope that is true.

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I wouldn't hide and pretend that everything is always coming up roses, or try to be perfect. That is my nature to just present the best face and be as put-together as possible, but in truth, that is an act, and doing that helps no one. I find the best way to learn is from others' mistakes, so I will do my best to present mine so that others may not make the same ones. Also, it does not help me to try to be perfect because in simplest form, it is a lie, and no one benefits from a lie. Anyway, I hope you find my blog interesting, and at the very least entertaining sometimes. Thank you for reading! :)

Right Place. Right Path.

Good evening! I'm too sleepy to make a video right now, but I realized I haven't updated in a bit, so here we go. This week has been pretty busy. I got to explore LA with some Baylor friends, look for jobs, apartment hunt with my future roommate, and do training for my internship!

Apartment hunting went really well. My roommate and I found a great one-bedroom for $995. The landlady was so incredibly kind, and I really feel like we can trust her to be good to us. We haven't signed yet, but the lady said she'd have another open by next month or a single (studio) for $895 open by the time my roommate moves out here in May, and then we can move in. So, we feel so blessed that we can find things in our price range. God provides!

Thursday afternoon, a bunch of us went to Santa Monica beach. The water was freezing cold! Regardless, we had fun running through the sand and surf and exploring the pier. Two of my friends rode the solar-powered ferris wheel. That night we all went to a little dessert shop in The Valley, and had great conversation with an acting coach and his assistant. I find it so inspiring that someone can hold so much passion in him for acting, for film, the theatre. When I asked him what made him choose to become an acting coach, he said, "It was a God thing." When he graduated from high school, people would come up to him and ask him to help them with their scripts, and he would effectively coach them. So, now, he's living a life he loves, coaching and working on the craft. He basically just bumped into his calling. So amazing.

On Friday I started my internship at an agency. I was incredibly nervous going in, but I really needed not be. All of the agents and interns are really nice. I got training on the computer of how to send out appointment emails and how to submit people for auditions. It is very repetitive work, but it's not too bad. I'm not sure office work is really my cup of tea, but I feel so lucky to have gotten this internship, and I'm hoping it can get me where I need to be.

Today, I spent my time buying groceries, cooking dinner (pork chops and mashed potatoes), and cleaning. I also got to talk to a friend who's going to medical school, and it was wonderful to hear from someone from back home. Odd thing for me---I'm not homesick, yet. I figured I would have been by now, but LA feels like my home. It's like my heart has always been here, and I just had to come and find it. I'm praying for God to give me direction out here. I know I'm in the right place. I just need to find the right path.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you're having a lovely weekend!

I Got An Internship!

I love LA. Now, I just need to get a paying job!

First Saturday in LA

This is just documentation of my first Saturday in LA.

By the way, I just got off of the phone with my uncle about my car going through the dust storm. He said all I really needed to check is the air filter so that it's not clogged, and around the outside of the radiator to make sure it's on the clean side as well.

LA - The Beginning

This is my first video-blog, so bear with me! This is just a documentation of what it's like for a young person to move out to LA, and make a life and a living. Enjoy!