Sing for the Day, Sing for the Moment...

I really need to film and upload a video! So, it has been two months since I last wrote a blog. I apologize. I have been in turmoil in regards to my career. So, this entry will be an honest one, not making light of anything, or trying to make everything sound as cheery as I would like it to be.

When I first came out to LA, ten months ago, I "wanted" to be a publicist. In reality, I thought it was something I would be good at where I could just bury myself in work, feel safe, and be a help to someone. Not good enough reasons. Then, I thought I'd go back to acting, but in all honesty, I hate it. I hate memorizing lines. The sight of a monologue makes me want to vomit. As much as I like analyzing people and seeing what makes them tick, I hate the idea of acting as a full time profession. I remember a time when I absolutely loved it and how much it helped me to release my stress onstage. That was a time in my life that I was afraid to figure myself out, and in being other people for a time, I didn't have to. Since then, I've gotten to know myself a little better, and I don't want to leave her, even for a second. That time when I wanted to act has passed, and I just have to accept it, and not try to force it on myself...at least until I genuinely feel that love, again, if I ever do.

I want to be a singer. Yes. There, I said it. *cringe* It is so hard for me to say that aloud. I usually blush, or follow it with something like, "If God wills it..." or "Haha, we'll see how that goes" *joke hands* But, I really do. If I could do anything for the rest of my life, it would be to sing. It's the one thing that I habitually do that makes me feel alive. I feel like I'm flying and free, which if you know me, are two states of being I adore. I cannot truly and justly describe how much I love to sing. I will be starting singing lessons in the new year to learn more about my voice and how to control it. I hope that will go well, and the next step will become visible to me. Until then, I sing in place. :)

Anyway, I hope family and friends, that you had a wonderful Christmas and the new year brings you all sorts of happiness!

P.S. The picture is from Madame Tussauds in Hollywood. Just dancing with MJ. ;)

End of October Update!

My Grandpa kindly reminded me that I hadn't updated this in a while last week, so here we go! Haha!

Not too much has changed. I'm still working two jobs. I got promoted to server at the restaurant job, so I'm joining the ranks of thousands of entertainers that serve for a living while they work and wait for their big break. I've been working on my singing a lot. I just started "singing lessons" using Brett Manning's Singing Success program. It's going well so far. The warm-ups, even though they seems silly, have really relaxed my face and voice so I can reach higher notes easier. I'm hoping to start acting classes in the new year when I've saved up enough money, and I've made sure I have enough for taxes. I'm still on track for my plan of being ready for pilot season 2013! I'm hoping acting classes will go well, and I'll find a commercial agent first, then a theatrical agent by December 2013, so in January I can hit the pavement.

Some personal notes---My friend, Kara, is moving in with Jodi and me by November 1. We're excited to be roomies, again! In addition to having my best girl friends all living under the same roof, our rent is going to be cheaper split between us. It's a win-win!

Last night, I went out with my friends, Justin and Evian, to West Hollywood. It was so fun! I hadn't been dancing out here before, but I loved it so much. On Halloween, a bunch of us are going to the big West Hollywood Halloween party to mingle with what I'm told will be thousands of people all dressed up for the occasion. I'm also told there will be a popular band there, but no one knows who it is until they get there. In any case, as long as Paramore isn't really there, if you see Hayley Williams walking around, that would be me!

Well, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for reading! <3

(By the way, the picture at the top is from when I dressed up for the latest (and last) Harry Potter midnight showing. I know I talked about that in a previous post. It was so good. I'm so sad the series is officially over!)

Excerpt of "It Ain't That Easy"

A bit of a song I wrote a while ago. I recorded this back in Texas on my Mac. I have the rest written as well, but the video cut off for some reason. This is the first song I've ever posted online, so please be kind. Thank you!

Waiting For My Welcome Letter

Can I just say how addicting this song is? I'm currently waiting for my Welcome Letter to enter Pottermore. I got the email that said I'd been approved for early entry, but haven't gotten the official go ahead, yet. Anyway, if you're into fan videos/catchy songs/corny songs/love songs, you'll like this video. Enjoy!

Update ~ August 1, 2011

July Update!

The video above is from tonight. My roommate, Jodi, and I were doing karaoke, but this time it went awry. Decided it would be fun to post. :)

Just wanted to update a little bit. I know it's been a long time. I apologize. I've been really busy working and playing! I work two jobs. I'm a hostess at a restaurant, and I'm a nanny for an adorable 9-month-old. Both are very fulfilling in terms of helping people.

On my birthday, I made my first trip to Disneyland, thanks to my friends, Nathan and Jodi. It was so much fun---I wish I could live there! This month, the end of a magical era comes---The final installment of the Harry Potter films. I am so excited, nervous, sad, and cautious with this coming. I am going to miss that world so much. I'm going to miss looking forward to a new book or movie.

My spiritual journey has been rocky this month, I will admit. It is remarkable how we has humans gauge our relationship with God by how we're doing in life. Honestly, it makes sense to do that, but it's not right. God places challenges in our life so that we can overcome them, and be stronger to take on the rest of His will for our lives. Also, not to mention, take on the ultimate battle against evil. The stronger we get in faith, the more attacked we are going to be. It is imperative that we keep reminding ourselves that WE ARE LOVED BY HIM, and that WE ARE SPECIAL TO HIM. In Him we find our strength. So, that's what I'm focusing on right now. Letting Him be the strength and not trying to take on the world by myself. There's no need for it.

Well, it seems that is all I can think of for now. Family, friends, I hope you all are well!

Beginning of June Update!

Just a few updates---I have officially moved into my apartment with my roommate, Jodi. There are boxes everywhere, still, but everything is here. We've signed the lease, and it is ours! I feel so incredibly blessed. I live in a great location for opportunities in the entertainment business and to join community based events. I get to drive by some of the studios every day, and that keeps the dream alive!

I've also been writing more songs lately. Unfortunately, they all deal with the same person and situation, and though I love the songs I've written about that, I think it's time to put that subject matter to rest for a while. I have two more song ideas in my head for that, and a few more written down. Once I write those, I'm going to be finished with it. I believe that will put my total songs about that personal matter to 15. That's the length of a decent album. Haha!

On the job front, it's an uphill battle, my friends. I'm still hosting at a restaurant, but moving as put me quite far away from it, so I'm hoping that I can find something closer. Gas is not cheap, (Though, I found myself rejoicing when I saw it was $4.03 the other day.) and traffic is so unpredictable. I'm hoping to get a graveyard shift at a hospital or even work on a studio lot. We'll see what happens!

I feel so happy to be out here. For the first time in my life, I'm not always wishing to "get out" or just to be somewhere else. I'm where I've always dreamed of being. Such a nice feeling. I do still miss home, sometimes. I've found my southern accent coming out more and more here lately. Haha. Luckily, there are a lot of Texans here. :) I just feel so lucky that I get to wake up in sunny Los Angeles, knowing a live close to where the magic happens both in music and film. I get to see mountains every day. I marvel that palm trees grow right next to trees I'd only ever seen in Colorado. I sit in wonder at this beautiful place God has created. Thank you, my Adonai. :)

(Note: The picture above is of one of the balconies at the El Capitan. I went to see the new Pirates movie there, and met Jerry Bruckheimer. It was amazingly surreal. I was walking toward the ladies room, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone was looking at me, so I turned and said, "Hello, how are you?" [I remember thinking he looked familiar, but I thought he was someone I'd met that I'd just forgotten his name.] He replied he was fine, and I said, "I'm glad," and walked off. As I was going down the stairs, I said to Jodi, "I think I just met Jerry Bruckheimer." I resolved that if he was in the same place when we went back up, I'd introduce myself. He was, and I did. He was very nice, and just a little reserved. You just never know who you're going to run into.)